Trying Not to Fight It

Do you ever get a prompting/gut feeling that all you want to do is ignore or run away from but you know there are bigger reasons behind it (...and you're really better off if you don't run away from God's plan for you?) Then you're asked to teach a lesson titled "With God All Things Are Possible."

“Where the Lord plants us, there we are to stand; when he requires us to exert ourselves for the support of these holy principles, that we are to do; that is all we need to trouble ourselves about; the rest our Heavenly Father will take care of."

I will go...I will do.... Oh, to have the faith of a child.

Chevron, oh Chevron. What a huge blessing this job has already been in our lives as we are able to start paying off student loans and save from the very beginning. We love our ward, Matt loves his job and we're having so much fun. 

Chevron, oh Chevron. I think this is also one of the bigger tests of faith in my life. It might sound trivial to some but it is a big leap of faith for me to do these different things. Some people dream of moving overseas and living abroad. Not me. That's never been my dream. Traveling eventually, but moving was never my plan. 

Back in October Matt was getting ready to leave for Florida to attend a recruiting event. Before he left, I felt prompted to tell him to be open to an international opportunity if it were to present itself. This came as a big shock to both of us and I really didn't want to say anything. To be honest, as I was telling him I thought to myself that it was a great way to be the supportive wife but that I would never really have to do it because Matt already knew the companies he wanted to work for and there aren't a ton of international opportunities. I was wrong.

Matt went to Florida and in addition to many other companies, he interviewed with Chevron. He came home and told me about his different experiences but as soon as he told me that he interviewed with Chevron and they were looking for employees willing to relocate internationally, I knew it was going to result in an offer. The moment when the light goes off inside and you know why you had the previous prompting.

Matt wasn't convinced. He had all the reasons to doubt. It was a huge opportunity and very competitive. As time went on we found out they were only hiring one person from this position and BYU is not a school they recruit from. Chances looked slim but I was confident. Matt is capable and I have every ounce of faith in him but more than that, the Lord had planted a seed and prepared me for this news.

For some, this offer was their dream. For me, this offer was exciting but equally as scary. There are a lot of things that come with this job that I looked forward to and I knew it would provide some incredible experiences as a family. It also comes with not being able to put roots down, potentially living in the middle of nowhere, not seeing family for months/years at a time as well as many other things that are different and challenging.

At the last possible second, we accepted the offer. It felt right and it felt exciting. We've been so pleased with how the company treats us and look forward to the crazy possibilities that are in our future.

So, if everything is great and even better than expected, why the rant? We found out that our first rotation was in San Ramon. Then we thought our second rotation would either be Kazakhstan, Australia or Scotland and our third would be in Trinidad. Kazakhstan was quickly ruled out (so we thought) and we were just waiting to hear if they wanted to send us to Australia or Scotland.

Disclaimer#1: We were told from the beginning nothing is set in stone and can change up until we have our assignments.

Sure enough, I just got a call from Matt explaining that he has spoken with his boss this morning. I really think his boss wants us to go to Kazakhstan. Really, I think he is trying to get anyone to go there. He also mentioned a lot of different possibilities and asked Matt to reach out to quite a few co-workers and ask about their different experiences in varying countries so we could get an idea of our options. In the conversation everything we thought we were going to be doing in the next two years changed. That only means, we don't know for certain that we'll be in Trinidad which we thought was pretty concrete. It also means that we have a lot more options than Australia and Scotland.

The only reason this is a big deal is because I felt very safe about all of those options and a lot of my worries and fears had died down.  I think they are still possibilities but they also talked again about Kazakhstan, Thailand and other places.

Gut feeling came back for the umpteenth time. "Karin, you're going to Kazakhstan." At first, I thought this was simply my mind just playing tricks because I have been teasing Matt's mom for weeks that we are going there. Ha ha. Joke is possibly on me.

Disclaimer#2: I am not saying we are going to Kazakhstan. I don't know where we are going.

Honestly, the more I think about it, the more open I am to the idea. However, that is only because I am really trying hard to accept the Lord's will for our family. I do not think it is by coincidence that the lessons in Relief Society lately have all been on Following God's Will and then I was asked to teach next month on "With God All Things Are Possible."  

There are so many unknowns but the things I do know are what I am going to have to lean on to make this transition a positive experience for my family.

What I DO Know:

1. My Heavenly Father loves me.

2. My Heavenly Father wants me to be happy and has my family's well being on His mind more than I do.

3. I married a spiritual giant so WHEN trials come up, he will help me focus on God's will and help me have an eternal perspective on things.
4. I am married to the most amazing person.

5. The Lord's timing and plan has always worked out better than my own.

6. God will buoy us if we let Him.

“The nature of those demands upon us [is] such that no person can comply with them, unless by assistance from the Almighty. … He has promised this aid.”

I am nervous and extremely anxious to know what (our?) plan is but I am trying to hard to have faith that we are going to go where the Lord needs and wants us. From the beginning of this Chevron journey, I have been so excited about the different missionary opportunities we could potentially have. I think I might be getting more than I bargained for but I have the best partner to support me and take on these challenges with. I know that Matt and I can do hard things together and at the end of them we are only closer; so I will try my best to stop fighting what could be the best thing for our family.

Hopefully we'll be able to announce for real where we are moving in eight months sooner than later.