Our house is going on the market today and I could not describe this experience any better than simply calling it bittersweet. I am happy, grateful and beyond excited for this new chapter in our lives but I am also hurt, sad and having a hard time letting go.
Sienna has been so excited to tell people that she was moving to Utah to live by Grandma Anne and Nana (and she never leaves out my mom's cat, FEZ). She has been talking about it for several months but now that we are really leaving and have actually packed up most of the house and set a moving date, it is all becoming more real to the girls.
Sienna was sitting at the table eating her mini M&Ms she got from one of her best buddy's birthday parties this morning while I was packing up our freezer to give to our friends and she said, "Mommy, I'm very sad." The rest of the conversation went like this:
Me: Why are you very sad?
Sienna: I am going to miss my friends. They are my special friends. I hope I dream about them.
Me: I know, sweetheart. Mommy is going to miss my friends too. But, guess what?
Sienna: What?
Me: We can always come back and visit our friends together, okay? Guess what else? Do you know who we are going to be able to see all of the time now? Grandma Anne, Nana, Grandpa Doug, Papa...
Sienna (interrupted me): FEZ!!!
Me: Yes, FEZ and all of our cousins and Aunt Adri, Aunt Dana, Cole...
Sienna cut me off, gave me a big hug and said, "I love you very much mom." I told her that I loved her very much too and then the tears started to fall.
I have every intention on coming back to Texas to visit. I have already had to say my final goodbyes to some of my dearest friends and throughout this whole process I have been reminded how blessed I am to have so many wonderful people in my life. I almost feel guilty to be surrounded by so many amazing friends. I will never forget them or what they have meant to me or my family.
As I sit here trying to blog, I cannot hold back the tears as I think about all of the sweet things that my friends have said to me over the past few weeks. Thank goodness for Matt always knowing how to lighten the mood by laughing at inappropriate times.
Don't get me wrong, I am very happy and excited to move back to Utah. I just wish I could be at two places at the same time. The past four and a half years have by far been the very best of my life. As sad as I am to leave my house, at the end of the day it is only a house. What hurts the most is saying goodbye to so many I love.
“Even though we've changed and we're all finding our own place in the world, we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we're not all still friends.”
