A Sunday to Remember

Friday morning Matt and I were able to find out the gender of our next baby. There were some minor concerns which allowed us to receive our ultrasound sooner than expected. Matt and I couldn't have been any more excited to see that our next baby would in fact be a boy. Everything with our son is looking good. He wasn't as big as he needed to be to check everything the doctor wanted to measure but he is healthy and we are thrilled.
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Unfortunately, after finding out our joyous news I had a very challenging and stressful weekend that made me lose sight of the blessings in our lives. I spent two days in a bad mood with a headache and shedding many tears. I had been told several times that I needed to get over the different things bothering me and I really wanted to but I couldn't kick my bad attitude.
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Thank goodness every weekend includes a Sunday. Matt spoke in church this morning which always puts me in a good mood. I married a good man. He is a spiritual giant that constantly lifts me. His example of charity and love in every situation makes me a better person. I was looking forward to church for the reason that I got to hear my husband speak which he does flawlessly. Many complemented Matt on the way he taught, spoke, and presented himself. I, like always, was in awe. The girls were wonderful during the meeting and I was able to focus and enjoy every minute of it. Matt did not let me down and I fell in love with him all over again.
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To my surprise, Matt's talk was not the highlight of my church attendance today. In Young Womens, I just wasn't feeling my lesson but noticed the Mia Maid advisor was extremely pumped about hers. I asked if we could sit in and join her for her class which was an inspired decision I now believe. Her lesson was amazing and needed for both me and the young women.
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However wonderful and spiritual I thought Janelle's lesson was, it too was not the highlight of my sabbath. The reason that church and today were so special to me was because I had a very neat experience that helped me get passed everything else that was bothering me the past couple of days. Through out the entire third hour of church, I held my friend's 18 day old son. He is not even three weeks old and is the epitome of perfection. While holding baby Tyce, I was overcome with joy and hope for the future that my son will bring. I teared up looking at him because he was so fresh and perfect. I longed for the day in December that I get to bring my own son home and cuddle him. I feel guilty that I have been unable to spend more time these past couple of days realizing the miracle that is taking place. Matt and I should not be expecting a baby this year because of everything that happened earlier with my ectopic. It hit me strongly today that I need to be grateful that I am having a baby, that he is healthy, and that I need to enjoy every moment of it.

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On top of stressing about different things this weekend, I began worrying about my unborn child again. I know most were fears unwarranted but I was having some different pains and cramping that made my mind go places I never want to go. I feel like I know my body pretty well and what it is doing but I still questioned. Deep down I knew everything was okay but because I have lost two babies now, it broke my heart thinking that something could go wrong even after knowing the gender and planning for his future. I think we might even have a name...but we'll see.
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Needless to say, I am grateful this weekend is over. I am at peace and not worried about my baby. I can feel him kick and move and have been comforted knowing that everything will be okay. I still think about everything else that was bothering me because I am worried about others but as far as Matt, Sienna, Sadie, and Baby boy are concerned, I am feel with gratitude, peace, and joy. I love my family more than I would ever be able to express. I am blessed and lucky to be married to a good man. Matt is truly good, he would never do anything to hurt anyone and he radiates light and truth. I apologize to everyone I have hurt this weekend and hope you know how much I love you.

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17 weeks 3 days, on our way to find out the gender of our baby.

The girls and I had to go shopping after our appointment for their little brother. It was so much fun buying boy stuff and we couldn't help but go share the excitement with daddy.
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I am so in love with all of the babies recently born or making their debut soon. One of my dearest friends just had her first last week, another is having her third next week, Bryan and Allie are having their first at the end of the year, and I found out that a friend struggling with fertility is also expecting. I love babies and am grateful that so many are able to enjoy the blessings that come with. My heart and prayers go out to my dear friends that are still struggling and have not yet had success having children and I hope it works out soon. Much love, Karin