On My Mind

I am dying to see my parents' new kitchen, it looks amazing in the pictures. So much so, that I want to hop back in the car and drive to Utah again. I cannot wait until I can roast a perfect marshmallow and eat a REESES smore in their new stone firepit. Plus I want to spend time with my brother and his girlfriend.

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So many of my friends are having babies this year. One of my childhood best friends is due today but it isn't looking like her baby and her are on the same schedule. Thank goodness she is one tough cookie and has had a pretty easy pregnancy. I hope everything goes well (and soon) and I get to see pictures of Addie before too long. More motivation to hop in the car and drive. Another one of my best friends is having her 3rd in two weeks. She isn't finding out the gender which is making me even more excited for her big day. I am planning on spending the night at the hospital with her so she isn't alone and so her husband can be home with the kids, it should be fun.

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I have no real plans for as long as I can see. I have nothing scheduled or planned for months. Things always come up but it is nice having a fairly open calendar. I am hoping Matt and I are able to figure out a family trip within the next couple of months. I would LOVE to go visit my sister in Nevada but tickets are ridiculous. I also want to go to Utah in September for Pops 80th but don't know that it is going to happen. We'll see, there is something liberating about being spontaneous to me.

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This pregnancy doesn't seem real to me. It is going by super quickly because of how everything has worked out but I really can't wait for my next ultrasound so I can see how my baby is doing. I have had weird dreams and random concerns about this baby that are not warranted at all but I still want to see my baby moving around and that it has 10 fingers and 10 toes and no more.

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I am worried that I am going to gain 100 pounds with this baby. I cannot stop eating and it is driving me crazy. I feel chubby just because of what I am eating but I guess I'm in control of that so I better stop.

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This weekend is the Heatstroker which is the overnight softball tournament in St. George. I cannot name many things that I enjoy more than playing softball with my family and Jamie and I want to go SO BAD! I keep begging my dad but he is being protective of his unborn grandchild.

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I miss my nieces and nephews to pieces. Ella is going into first grade this year and Cole to kindergarten. It blows my mind that they are getting so big. Dash is 18 months and everytime someone mentions him getting into stuff or running around I freak out a little bit that he is up and running. I picture him as a baby still but he is only 6 months younger than Sadie who will be 2 on Tuesday. Gracie too, she is a year old and I have only seen her a few times. I long for the day that all of the cousins are within 10 hours of each other.

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I want to clean out my second bedroom, I mean really clean it out. I would love to make it a guest bedroom with the crib in there. I want to get every organized and stored nicely so it isn't in the way. After I know the gender, I want to get the bedding, etc all figured out. I would LOVE to fly my good friend Kelsey out so she can use her interior designing magic and help me paint, decorate, etc. I just miss her to pieces too and would love a week of just getting to know her better. She is the one I dream of opening a bakery with.

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Wanting to put together a guest room requires buying new furniture. I cannot justify spending money on a bed/mattress because we only have a couple thousand dollars left to pay on the van. Oh, that is the best feeling in the world! Matt and I honestly get giddy everytime we make a payment and watch those numbers go down.

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I love being in Young Womens and hope they don't release me because I'm having a baby. I'd stay in that program my entire life if they'd let me. While at camp with Sister Park who is beyond inspirational and amazing, I kept dreaming of the future and picturing myself working on the stake level with the YW for years and years. I would love to live near my mom again at some point and be able to go to girls camp with her again, nobody does camp (or anything) as well as my mom!

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I'm biased I know but I am so in love with my girls. They are so well behaved and we have so much fun together. Today we went to the bounce house, visited Matt at work, and then to lunch together and it was such a great day. We followed lunch by coming home and all taking 2 hour naps. While at the bounce house there was a lady that was basically telling me I was crazy for loving that my kids are only 16 months apart (hers are 14) and that I'm having another in December. She continued to tell me that if she only had one it would be so much easier. She told me that she loves other peoples kids but can't handle being a parent herself. It was the saddest thing ever. She was trying to convince me that her kids were difficult but they were darling and so well behaved. She about dropped when I told her I wanted 4-5 when really I want at least 5-6 if I can but I didn't want her to passout in front of me.

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The girls and I met our neighbors across the street (finally!). The wife had a 5 year old girl and 2 year old boy from a previous relationship but together they make such a cute family. They are Matt's age and I look forward to getting to know them better. They asked about my church and I'm hoping that I will have an opportunity to expand on that more in the future.

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It seems like Matt and I don't get out with our friends very often anymore. I think I feel that way mostly because I have been gone so much. I miss game nights and seeing our friends a lot, we don't see B&A much either but it has been a lot of fun spending so much time as a family. A favorite of the girls right now is playing Mario. They beg for it almost every night. We also play hide n seek a lot. They make me so happy.

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Three of my best friends of 20 years are not married and none of them are really dating seriously either. It isn't a big deal and they are all doing great things with their life but it hit me the other day that I could be done having kids before they really ever start. It made me sad because we always talked about raising our kids together and having them on the same sport teams, etc. Now I tease them that my kids will babysit their kids so we can go out. That works too I guess.

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People think I'm crazy for driving to Utah and wanting to do it again soon, but Sadie is turning two so now if I ever want to go anywhere we have to buy at least 3 tickets and 4 if Matt can join us. I think I should drive more so I get used to it. Flying bums me out because Em was visiting me a couple times a year but now that Andy has a corporate job and he can't watch the boys, so she can't come as often because she'd have to buy 3 tickets too.

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I have always known that things would get to where we were only visiting Utah about once a year. Weddings, funerals, babies, etc come up so there are exceptions but I think we are getting closer to once a year becoming a reality. With people visiting Texas, it all balances out but my Emily time is dwindling.

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Sienna wants to go to kindergarten so bad. Obviously, that isn't an option with her being three but I am debating back and forth about putting her in preschool. I don't think I am going to. I don't want to take her away from Sadie any sooner than I have to. If I put her in next year, she could go to kindergarten the following year and Sadie could go to preschool. I hope I can find something they can do together this fall. Maybe soccer or t-ball.

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I am going to go make dinner now. Hope I didn't put too many people to sleep.