Goodbyes

I have gotten so behind on blogging and now it is hard to find the motivation to catch up. Part of the reason I haven't been able to update lately is because we have been so busy since moving back to Utah. I worked the first two weeks in Utah and then we went to Washington to visit my sister and her family for two more weeks. Another reason I haven't posted anything is because I think some emotions or feelings I have about leaving Texas will be better bottled up for awhile. I am so attached the my friends that I made in Texas and I miss them so much. They became my Texas family and I think about them daily. Each of my friends deserve their own post about how much they mean to me and why I love them so much but I will have to do that another time. Here are some of our closest friends that we were able to see right as we were leaving. (I cannot believe I didn't get pictures with everyone that surprised me at my last girls' night and some more of my very best friends... it makes me so sad!! Please know I still love you!!)

"I'm Going to Miss My Friends" --Sienna

Our house is going on the market today and I could not describe this experience any better than simply calling it bittersweet. I am happy, grateful and beyond excited for this new chapter in our lives but I am also hurt, sad and having a hard time letting go.

Sienna has been so excited to tell people that she was moving to Utah to live by Grandma Anne and Nana (and she never leaves out my mom's cat, FEZ). She has been talking about it for several months but now that we are really leaving and have actually packed up most of the house and set a moving date, it is all becoming more real to the girls.

Sienna was sitting at the table eating her mini M&Ms she got from one of her best buddy's birthday parties this morning while I was packing up our freezer to give to our friends and she said, "Mommy, I'm very sad." The rest of the conversation went like this:

Me: Why are you very sad?

Sienna: I am going to miss my friends. They are my special friends. I hope I dream about them.

Me: I know, sweetheart. Mommy is going to miss my friends too. But, guess what?

Sienna: What?

Me: We can always come back and visit our friends together, okay? Guess what else? Do you know who we are going to be able to see all of the time now? Grandma Anne, Nana, Grandpa Doug, Papa...

Sienna (interrupted me): FEZ!!!

Me: Yes, FEZ and all of our cousins and Aunt Adri, Aunt Dana, Cole...

Sienna cut me off, gave me a big hug and said, "I love you very much mom." I told her that I loved her very much too and then the tears started to fall.

I have every intention on coming back to Texas to visit. I have already had to say my final goodbyes to some of my dearest friends and throughout this whole process I have been reminded how blessed I am to have so many wonderful people in my life. I almost feel guilty to be surrounded by so many amazing friends. I will never forget them or what they have meant to me or my family.

As I sit here trying to blog, I cannot hold back the tears as I think about all of the sweet things that my friends have said to me over the past few weeks. Thank goodness for Matt always knowing how to lighten the mood by laughing at inappropriate times.

Don't get me wrong, I am very happy and excited to move back to Utah. I just wish I could be at two places at the same time. The past four and a half years have by far been the very best of my life. As sad as I am to leave my house, at the end of the day it is only a house. What hurts the most is saying goodbye to so many I love.

“Even though we've changed and we're all finding our own place in the world, we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we're not all still friends.”

Guess what?!

HERE WE COME!!

Matt was accepted to BYU'S MBA program and we will be moving back to Utah within the next couple of weeks. It is extremely BITTER-SWEET. This is what we have felt is right for our family and everything has been working out and falling into place to lead us in this direction and we could not be more grateful for the blessings in our life. At the same time, leaving our life (friends, ward, neighbors and HOME) will be one of the more challenging things we've ever done together.

So Happy it Fits

I was going through Tanner's room and found his BYU hat. I was happy to see that it now fit.

Tanner and Crew

EASTER

I love Easter. It is at the best time of year and celebrates the most amazing event that has ever happened. We were originally going to be in Utah for Easter this year but timing just didn't work out. It would have been great to be with everyone in Utah but we still managed to have a beautiful Easter here as a family with Bryan, Allie & Crew.

Church was wonderful. I really loved our sacrament meeting. The first half of the meeting was music by the primary children and choir with narration from the scriptures in between. There is something magical about music and the spirit was so strong. It was absolutely beautiful and then our bishop spoke and did a great job. Sienna is now a sunbeam and so she was able to sing with the primary for the first time ever and I don't know who enjoyed it more out of her, Matt or myself. We were all pretty excited and so proud of our little girl.

I am so grateful for Easter and the hope it gives everyone. There are several people in my ward or that I am close to that have lost loved ones. Because of Christ and His atonement, suffering, death and most importantly, His victory over the grave, they can all unite in hope and celebrate that families are forever and they too will be resurrected and reunited with their loved ones. It has been really neat talking to the kids the past couple of days about resurrection and all of the blessings that come from following Jesus. I love hearing the girls talk about Jesus and that he is not dead anymore but that He lives. I am grateful that they already have this testimony so young.

I am grateful for my Savior, Jesus Christ. I know that He lives.

Sienna and her Easter basket.

Sadie with her basket. Many thanks to Grandma Anne for helping out the Easter bunny.

Tanner got a basket too with new baby toys and a GI Joe tank.

The Easter bunny thought he did a great job at hiding the kids' baskets but they found them very quickly. It was such a fun morning followed by a great day.

Me: "Girls, why do we have Easter?"

Sienna: "Jesus was resurrected!"

Sadie: "Candy!"

I think we have talked about it enough now that Sadie knows it is about Jesus and being resurrected but that we can eat lots of chocolate while talking about it.

25

Last Friday was my birthday and I had the best day. The girls woke me up early to open my presents which were perfect. My favorite part of the day was simply hanging out with my favorite people. After Matt went to work, the kids and I went outside to eat Hostess raspberry filled donuts that Matt's family sent (YUMMY!!). Then we played, got ready and met up with Matt for a little picnic at the park. After lunch, the kids and I came home and watched Princess and the Frog. That night we went out to dinner with Bryan, Allie & Crew. It was a very relaxing and very uplifting day. I felt so special and loved and I am so grateful for everyone that called or stopped by or sent things. Having a birthday is always fun but this year was extra special and meaningful to me. I was very touched all day by everyone going out of their way to make me feel special. I also spent much of the day reflecting on everything I have been blessed with the past 25 years and I really couldn't ask for anything more than what I have already been given.

It really was the perfect day.

The girls were so excited to get me out of bed to give me my presents. They got me nail polish and a candle that they chose out themselves. Matt got me some baking dishes and an ipod nano which I am so excited about. Matt has the best taste in music and now I will have it to listen to at all times.

The best part of turning 25 was waking up to these three cuties!! I am blessed to have such a wonderful family and to be mom to these beautiful and special children.

Had to add this picture just for fun.

Family picture before heading out on our picnic.