Greatest Gift of All

Greatest Gift of All
December 22, 2010

My parents got into town on Saturday afternoon. My best friend Jamie Layton drove down with them to spend Christmas with us. I was so surprised that I hadn’t had my baby by the time they got in town. My due date (yesterday) was quickly approaching and I really wanted to get our son here so we could enjoy the week together and be home together for Christmas. Friday I was feeling some contractions but they were not consistent or very painful. I debated going to the hospital anyway with hopes that by checking me it would make me go into labor. I decided that I didn’t want to risk wasting the day at the hospital if I was going to be sent home. I didn’t want to take away time with my parents and Jamie for nothing and I knew I wasn’t in labor. When I had Sadie, they checked me at the hospital and it made me dilate to a 4 which put me into labor and I was hoping for something similar. Like I said, I decided I didn’t want to take time for nothing. Saturday night we went to bed and my contractions had gotten a bit stronger but I still was not in labor.

Sadie woke up in the middle of the night and after putting her in bed, I felt like I should go to the hospital. I was pretty certain it was more wishful hoping again and maybe I was making up the feeling that I should go to the hospital. I convinced Matt to take me anyway because even if nothing happened we weren’t wasting time away from anyone. We got to the hospital and when the checked me I was still about a 3. This didn’t mean anything because I had already been progressed to a three two weeks earlier. This really made me sad because I thought for sure there had been more progression. My contractions had gotten more noticeable and I had started bleeding a tiny bit here and there but not enough to make me further dilate or efface. The news of me not progressing saddened me and my nurse in triage could tell. She had me walk the halls for an hour and come back to see if that would help put my body into labor. I spent the hour walking the halls with Matt in my hospital gown praying that I could have the baby before going home. I would walk around for a few minutes, stop and cry because I was so sad at the thought I might not have Tanner on my own before my due date, and then continued walking. My contractions came about every 4 minutes during this hour which made me hopeful that being checked again could progress me to a 4 and throw me into labor. Wishful thinking again, but I kept praying and hoping. We went back to triage at about 3:30am where the nursed checked me. She said that I hadn’t really effaced anymore and that I was about a 3.5-4. I could tell she was really trying to make me happy and give me hope. She also tried to help me out but I had to face the fact that I simply was not in labor. She couldn’t really admit me to the hospital because there was no sign of me going into labor but she left to call the doctor on call (which was Dr. Kindrick, not Dr. Allen). Dr. Kindrick told my nurse (Courtney) that because my last labor with Sadie was so fast, she would prefer that I stayed at the hospital until morning just to see if my body decided to progress or go into labor. They were so accommodating and moved Matt and I to an L&D room to rest. Matt immediately fell asleep and I dozed in and out of sleep waking up to each and every contraction due to the pain. It was about 4:30am by the time they got me situated in L&D and at 6:07am, I woke up having to use the restroom and having a contraction. I was getting up to use the restroom because an empty bladder lessens the intensity of contractions. As I sat up, my water broke. I instantly called my nurse explaining that I was 99% certain that my water broke but wasn’t positive. I thought there was a chance that the contraction caused me to have an accident or something. She came in and tested the liquid and sure enough, it was my water. I instantly knew that I was in for a ride. My nurse hurried in and started preparing things for an epidural and delivery. My contractions immediately started coming more frequently and more intensely. With each contraction, I became increasingly more uncomfortable and agitated. I kept asking for the epidural but before getting it, they had to draw my blood, wait for the results, and also give me two large bags of saline through an IV.

During this whole process, I was starting to lose control. My hands became numb and I had a hard time opening or closing my fingers. This was caused by me not getting enough oxygen. My nurses and Matt kept trying to get me to calm down and breathe deeply. They were so patient with me and I kept trying to focus on getting air to the baby but was not doing very well. I could not relax and kept begging for the epidural. Due to the amount of pain I was having and discomfort I was expressing, the nurse continued to check me. The first time she checked me I was at a 5. She checked me shortly after, I believe it was about 20 minutes and I was already to an 8. I continued asking for the anesthesiologist and they tried to assure me he was driving as fast as he could to get to me.

Side note: It was about shift change so there was not an anesthesiologist on site. Also, it was time for Courtney to leave and a new nurse, Michelle, replaced her. You could tell Courtney felt bad that she didn’t do more to help me in pain and was trying so hard to do anything she could to relieve my stress. Honestly, there was nothing she could do. It was not her fault that my water broke and she couldn’t have ordered the epidural any sooner because I was simply not in labor. Either way, she felt bad and it was obvious that she wished she could have done more. She ended up staying with me and helped Michelle. I’m sure I required both of their attention anyway because I was freaking out so bad.

Okay, back to the story. The nurses had called the doctor telling her that I was already to an 8. She was on her way to the hospital too and only lives a short distance away. She skipped a shower and headed right in. When I got to an 8, I felt a lot of pressure which made me think I needed to go to the bathroom. The nurses kept assuring me that it was the baby. At 7:35am Dr. Silverman walked in to perform the epidural. They quickly got me on the side of the bed hunched over. He worked so quickly and was amazing but it just wasn’t soon enough. As soon as he said I could lie back down on the bed, I kept insisting that I had to go to the bathroom. They kept telling me it was the baby so finally I said, “I’m pushing this baby out now, then!” It was seconds after Dr. Silverman gave me permission to lie down before I started pushing. I couldn’t help it and I couldn’t stop. I pushed once and heard Matt say, “Karin, he’s coming.” I pushed a second time to hear the nurses say, “Look down, look down. Look at your baby.” I couldn’t believe it, Tanner was born. My baby was no longer inside of me. It all happened so fast and I couldn’t believe it. The nurses were so sweet to me and kept assuring me how well I did. They continued to tell me how proud of me they were and I did such a great job. They handed Tanner to me without cleaning him up much at all. They were still doing everything in their power to make me more comfortable and relax. You see, the doctor put the needle in my back but I never actually got the epidural or medication. He walked in my room at 7:35 and Tanner was born at 7:41. Minutes after delivering Tanner, they tore the epidural off of my back because it was no longer needed. I delivered him without as much as a Tylenol. It was the most miserable hour and half of my life, I could not tolerate the pain much longer but when it came to actually pushing him out, I had so much relief. I could feel the burning and the pressure but I wouldn’t call it painful. I was overjoyed that the contractions were stopping and I knew I was only a short time away from having my baby.

I am so grateful that everything worked out as it did. I asked how the baby was during the process and they kept assuring me he was doing great. Looking back now, I am so glad I had the nurses I did. My doctor was not there when Tanner was born and my nurses handled everything so well. Matt told me that as Tanner was coming out, he had the umbilical cord around his neck and the nurse quickly removed it before his head came out. I couldn’t focus at all by the point it was time to push and I was not about to wait for them to tell me to push. I was calling the shots and even if told otherwise, I didn’t have the control to stop pushing. I am so blessed that everything worked out as it did. Right after having Tanner, I felt guilty that something could have gone wrong. I didn’t even wait for the nurses to be ready or check on Tanner, I just pushed and hoped that someone would be there to catch him. It was all such an amazing experience and I feel so blessed and watched over.

Matt was incredible and took such good care of me. He held me close and kept trying to get me to breathe deeply for the baby and my sake. He let me squeeze his hand to the point of me hurting him. He kept telling me that I was doing such a good job even though I know I was out of control. I couldn’t have done this without him. He kept telling me to look in his eyes as he told me to breathe with him and that everything would be okay. I couldn’t imagine being in this situation without him holding me and telling me I would be okay.

As soon as Tanner was born, I felt 100 times better. Dr. Kindrick came in just in time to finish delivering my placenta and to stitch me up. She kept apologizing that it would hurt as she applied pressure as she gave me stitches and checked on my uterus but I felt great. I was elated that the contractions were over and any other burning or pain was more than welcome. She gave me some lidocaine locally to numb as she stitched but nothing bothered me. I told Matt how amazing I felt just an hour after I thought I was going to die.

Recovery has been wonderful. We only had to spend just over an hour in L&D before they moved me to postpartum because I didn’t have to wait for an epidural to wear off. Both baby and I were doing so well and were healthy so they let us leave the next day. We came home less than 36 hours after I showed up around 2am Saturday morning. Tanner came at 7:41am Sunday morning and we left as soon as they would let us. He has been such an easy baby so far. He is a GREAT eater and left the hospital weighing 7lbs 2oz. He only lost 2oz and my milk hadn’t even come in. I think he is sleeping great for only be 3 days old too. Last night, I left him with a bottle I pumped and my mom while the rest of us went to dinner. He took the bottle no problem and was perfectly happy for my mom. I still feel funny that I left him so soon and I won’t do it again for awhile but it was only an hour or so and with my mom. I am just amazed that he took the bottle so easily. I love my little man and couldn’t be happier that he is here. I think it is hilarious that he also came within hours of my mom getting into town. She has some power over my kids but that’s okay with me. Now we get to be home and spend the whole week with my parents and Jamie. I cannot wait for Christmas morning; it is going to be so much fun.
I am so grateful to be feeling so well and to have my family healthy and safe. We all love Tanner so much. The girls have been so cute with him and love him to pieces. Sienna has still yet to hold him but she now says that she is waiting for Christmas. We’ll see if it happens. Even if not, she talks to him and lies with him. I love watching my kids together. I am so blessed! I have the most amazing family and I love every second of being with them. I have been surrounded by so much support and love from everyone. I have the most amazing family and friends in the world. I am so happy Tanner came in time to visit with Allie, Bryan and Crew before they had to go to Utah for Kyle’s wedding. We only saw them in the hospital but it made the whole experience just that much better. These two babies (Crew and Tanner) have really made this year special for me. They’re such little miracles and I love them so much. One of my favorite pictures from the hospital is of Matt and Bryan holding their boys, it is priceless. Again, I am so very blessed! I Love love love my family!!!